One year ago, my memoir ‘Door de pijn heen’ (Through the pain) was published in the Netherlands. Now, the story is going international. I am currently working on the English edition.
This book is a memoir about systemic abuse in elite gymnastics, and about my fight for justice and reclaiming my voice. For nearly a decade, I trained under a coach whose methods involved psychological and physical abuse and neglect, leaving lasting consequences long after my athletic career ended. I first spoke out between 2005 and 2007, while I was still competing. In 2009, after retiring from the sport, I spoke publicly again on national radio. I became a whistleblower. But the world was not ready to listen.
In 2020, together with former gymnasts from around the world, we spoke out again. The exposure of the scandal was not an ending, it was a beginning. Because many of the same patterns remain. My former coach, like many others, is still active. Some continue working in their home countries. Others cross borders and resume their careers elsewhere without meaningful consequences.
It’s not about one individual. It is about systems that protect reputation over accountability, performance over safety, and power over childrens lifes. Internationally, similar dynamics continue, in sport and beyond.
With the English edition, I hope to contribute to the global conversation on safe sport and systemic reform. Above all, I hope this book offers strength to those who have suffered — and clarity to those willing to confront uncomfortable truths.
Stay tuned. More soon. 📖
